Toxic masculinity refers to the harmful beliefs about what it means to be a man. Boys are told to man up. Once they grow up, they one-up everyone.
Masculinity itself is not bad, but certain traditional ideas of manhood can be damaging to them and those around them.
Masculinity is a set of socially and culturally constructed traits, behaviors, and roles traditionally associated with men.
The problem arises when they feel they must suppress their emotions, hide their vulnerabilities, and prove their worth by aggression or control.
They may struggle to emotionally connect with others if they want love, or they may connect with others only to take advantage of them.
You will learn more about toxic masculinity below.
Toxic Masculinity Is Associated with a Traditional Sense of Manhood
Strength, dominance, and control are not bad, but when society forces men to live only by these standards, it creates toxic masculinity.
He feels like he cannot cry because it will make him “less of a man.” He believes that power over others proves his manhood.
These ideas are passed down through culture, family, and media. It takes a lot of power to break free from that mindset, but possible.
Signs of Toxic Masculinity in Men
Toxic masculinity hurts men. It stops them from expressing themselves, and they hurt others by justifying their misbehavior.
These thoughts go through a toxic masculine man’s mind every single time.
“Men Should Never Show Vulnerability!”
Many men are raised to think that showing fear, sadness, or insecurity makes them “not man enough.” This pressure starts in childhood, when boys are told not to cry or are teased for being soft.
I know that because I grew up with brothers. And I heard those comments, some of which came from my mouth. Sorry!
Neural connections in a child’s brain are rapidly forming and adapting based on experiences and environment.
The problem with this is that, when they avoid showing vulnerability, they bottle up emotions and pretend to be fine even when they are struggling.
It will stress them out. If they don’t do something about it, it could lead to depression or unhealthy coping mechanisms, like drinking.
“Not Asking for Help Means Strong!”
Men who follow toxic masculinity may think asking for help is a sign of weakness. “Real men” should solve problems alone, right? Not right.
Independence is valuable, but never asking for help can make problems worse.
Also, some independence is rooted in childhood trauma. If they want to be super independent, it might be a coping mechanism.
“Being Violent Also Means Strong!”
Movies, video games, and even sports glorify violence as a mark of real manhood. Men want to be “real men,” so they become violent.
Violent men may become abusive partners, aggressive coworkers, or hostile friends. This damages relationships and creates unsafe environments.
“Femininity Is Weak!”
Toxic masculinity wrongly teaches men that anything associated with women is inferior. So, they might avoid showing empathy, caring for children, or enjoying fashion because society labels these as “for women.”
Patriarchal systems historically devalue traits associated with women, such as empathy and nurturance.
This mindset creates a false hierarchy where masculinity is superior and femininity is shameful. It devalues women and feminine men.
“Women Are Objects That Can Be Sexualized!”
Many men are taught, directly or indirectly, that women exist for their pleasure, that a woman’s value is in her looks or sexuality.
Those who adopt this belief may disrespect women, make inappropriate comments, or even engage in harassment.
What Happens If a Masculine Man Is Toxic
For a long time, society has expected men to be tough, unemotional, and dominant. Let us discuss the consequences.
Avoids Emotional Support
When a man follows toxic masculinity, he may refuse emotional support. He thinks relying on others makes him weak, so he just shuts off.
Over time, this isolation increases stress, loneliness, and depression. Without support, he may cope through drinking, anger, or overworking.
Fears Expressing Emotions
Toxic masculinity stops men from showing emotions apart from anger. So, they grow up not being emotionally intelligent because they only know anger.
Emotional repression harms mental well-being and can also make them more likely to lash out in frustration. And then they become abusive.
Lacks Respect for Women
Toxic men may believe they are superior or entitled to control women. This shows up in dismissing them, treating them as objects, or abusing them.
Statistically, men are more often the perpetrators of physical and sexual abuse, although women can also be abusive.
Such behavior not only damages women but also prevents men from forming real, equal partnerships, which many of them desire.
Lacks Respect for Feminine Men
Men who embrace toxic masculinity look down on those who don’t fit the “tough guy” image. They may insult or bully them simply for that.
That is to say that they may feel contempt toward gay men and trans women.
Dear Broken Men, Surround Yourself with Good People to Heal
I had a professor who disclosed to the entire class that he was meeting with a therapist for his mental health. He even encouraged us to journal.
Not all men can do that: admitting they have personal issues and they need help. So, I thought, “This man is something else. I see that he is a good man.”
Maybe some women will make them feel bad for showing vulnerability, but some will be drawn to them because that is rare.
Toxic men must surround themselves with people who have a healthy idea of men, who see men as humans with feelings, if they want to be better men.
